


We've got tonite

by Saiphl



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-05-23 03:48:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6103818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saiphl/pseuds/Saiphl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of how one night can change everything and make reignite old fires or tear some ways apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One: Look at the Stars so Far Away

_**Part One: Look at the Stars so Far Away.** _

 

No one all over US knows how to throw a party like RuPaul, the legendary drag queen, original supermodel of the world, _especially_ when it comes to the official crowning of her new Reigning Child. Everything was ready to receive the top of the top, with a carefully designed guest list at the Stage 48 in New York City, something really ambitious even for the Drag Race Project. Especially for those _legendary_ children, the queens that had taken for granted that they were drag race royalty, and the fourteen newcomers that will be remembered for the worst acting challenges in _herstory_. 

All of the former competitors were invited, in order to celebrate seven years of runways, partying and the rising of great stars like Bebe, Tyra, Raja, Chad, Sharon, Jinkx, Bianca and last but not least, the young Violet Chachki, who proved to be fiercer than her fellow queens. In the end, all the Drag Race family was invited to gather together and celebrate the reigning queen and this… this is the story of how one night can change everything and make reignite old fires or tear some ways apart. 

_“Deep in my soul, I’ve been so lonely,_

_all of my hopes, fading away…”_

Ivy had been working hard as ever. Within tours, gigs and her work as seamstress, she simply didn’t have the room or time to give her mind a time to think of anything else than work. Maybe she was constructing herself some kind of safe place to avoid thinking on the last conversation she had with Keith before leaving Michigan to go back to NYC.  For the past year Keith had been travelling with all the girls on tour, helping with this or that, spending every available moment with Ivy, and after all that time together, he known something was bothering her. Keith didn’t understand at all why Ivy asked him to go back to the house they bought few months ago in Michigan before the tour scheduled a couple of shows in LA and he didn’t understand why Ivy forced herself so hard to smile thinking of those bookings. 

They actually had been very happy in the previous year and a half, which led Keith to gather his shit together, and ask Ivy to marry him. He was totally sure that Ivy was his soulmate and they were back at their home in Michigan - when the madness of LA and tour closure were behind - he will ask her and they’ll have their happily ever after. It had been three or four weeks when Ivy went back to Michigan, and Keith asked her and she said - with a carefully disguised sadness and confusion tears filling her eyes - that she needed time to a very surprised Keith, who still can’t understand what had happened on that stupid trip to LA, and starting to regret his early return to Michigan.

 

_“Still here we are, both of us lonely_

_Longing for shelter from all that we see...”_

 

Sharon hated to go back to the crowning parties, hated to having signed that contract, hated to be there - with the shame of her stolen crown - and hated - most of _all_ \- the idea to meet again with Alaska. It wasn’t because her life had been miserable since the last time she saw Alaska off camera and out from the stage. She was walking away from her, and they agreed to keep working together, even when those gigs were _tortuous_ . She started over again, she found somehow a new path, new fresh air, and most of all a new companion to share a life with… but wasn’t the same, it would _never_ be the same. 

It had been more than three hours that she had been looking at the ceiling convincing herself to get out from the bed, to unpack some t-shirt and a pair of jeans and go out from the room. To get something to soothe her hangover, most importantly. But she knew inside of her that _she_ was there, nearby at someplace partying with Willam and Courtney, or just having a Starbucks with Detox. Sharon wondered if Alaska was thinking of her, missing her the same way she was missing her since the very first moment she walked away from their house in Pittsburgh. That dark place she suddenly felt unable to call home again… and sudden as that idea came, she jumped out of the bed, took a shower and then grabbed her room key - feeling not so ready to face NYC and the chance to find Alaska face to face. 

_“Still here we are, both of us lonely_

_Both of us lonely…”_

 

Katya hated so much to fly, hated the way she was so conscious about the airplane movement. She hated to wait for her luggage on the conveyor belt too. Hated most of all leaving Boston and the warm safety of her brand new vodka bottle looking at her, daring the queen day by day to drink it. Also serving as the small victory of keeping herself sober. By the moment she arrived to the NYC hotel, she felt dizzy and blurry. Wanting to curse that damned flight from Boston to NYC out loud and needing _something_ to put her shit together, she played nervously with her phone. In her head, she did the toss-up of playing her chances on meeting Fame and have someone to chat with, or throwing herself to the bed and wait for the time to come and get ready to the party. 

She always preferred to travel light, with not more than the basic to go through, and to have a quick way to escape if needed. All because she knew very well that life is _never_ a wish granting factory, and for sure, she will _never_ get what she wanted. So she kept with her not so subtle reminders of that certainty, this time shaped as a half done scrap photo frame of an old picture taken back in LA, the precise night where they filmed the season finale. There was no one but them on the backstage, one in a bright pink sequin gown, herself in a red sequin catsuit, both of them smiling and a mixture of pink and red lipstick smeared over their faces. 

_“Why should we worry, no one will care girl_

_Look at the stars so far away…”_

 

Violet was pacing on the lobby of the gigantic suite the production reserved for her, twisting her hands together. She had finally gotten her hair undone from the bun she was wearing, although it seemed that nothing could soothe her on that evening - not even her tedious habit of running her fingers through her hair. She was there, and she was all alone, wondering where the _fuck_ Fame was and what the _hell_ was taking her so long to get to that _damned_ hotel room.   

Violet had always loved her body and frame, always loved to watch herself with her boy body, because she felt so comfortable in her own skin that almost nothing was capable of cracking down her confidence. But that evening everything was different, and she wanted… no, she _needed_ a friend to hold hands with and cry all her concerns out of her before the damned show started.

Back in time, when she was so young and restless and rising as a star in Atlanta, she wasn’t able to understand why Sharon Needles was so concerned about her partner and lovers opinion on her chances to win the fourth season. She used to think that was an overreaction from her - if your soulmate isn’t able to understand and support your success, then they don’t deserve you.  She had been so _naïve_ and she knew it now. While she’s waiting for her friend to come, for the stupid season be over at last… to have a chance to hold her beloved in her arms without fearing what the audience, the production or goddamned _RuPaul_ would have to say about them. Fuck the _show_ , fuck the _season_ , fuck _everything_. Violet had wanted so much to win, but she also wanted so much to be with her, the beautiful gem with sleepy eyes that occupied most of the space on her head and her heart.

_“So there it is girl, I've said it all now_

_And here we are babe, what do you say?”_

 

Jinkx had been having the worst time of her life. Too many changes, too many people, too little time to be herself in _or_ out of drag. She just wanted for that vorágine to end as soon as possible, she craved some time to put her head together before she did something stupid… and she was so close to it, too.

Everything started four weeks ago. Many queens had booked a couple of gigs in LA - for the closure of the Battle of the Seasons Tour - and everything had been _really_ good. She even thought that she was ready to go back to Seattle and give a second watch on that guy that she had been going out with, he was cute, and funny but most of all, he didn’t gave a _rat’s ass_ about her being a drag queen. Something that won a _bunch_ of brownie points on his card according to her. But only time, destiny and that awful _Murphy_ guy with his laws about what will go wrong or not right, messed everything up in the _worst way possible._

Jerick was literally a mess, looking at himself with his makeup half done, the revolted red hair and that sad smile that decided to make a permanent feature on her face. They sighed - both Jerick and Jinkx - heartbroken about knowing that not-so-important-thing of their old well known crush on some Ivy Winters. Even thinking of her name gave Jinkx the chill. Seattle’s cute guy or not, Ivy would always be her weak point, that breaking truth that she had worked for two long years to leave behind for the sake of the both of them. And it had been working until four weeks ago, when they performed together on the gigs, and she was told that Keith, the funny and charming boyfriend asked her to get married.  Jinkx’s world had felt - and still feels - torn apart, and just thought that desperate times require desperate measures, so she did what she wanted to do for far too-denied-long: she kissed Ivy and was kissed back by her. After that, Ivy ran away looking just as heartbroken as Jinkx.

_“I know it's late, I know you're weary_

_I know your plans don't include me...”_

 

 _Huge_ . That was the only word to describe the full body mirror where Alaska were looking at her boy body in the oversized suite that Willam upgraded to hold the three of them for the couple of days that they were going to stay in New York. After that, they had some booked show in Vancouver and then, some time to go back home for a couple of weeks.  Alaska had missed so much to spend time with the girls on the Haunted House - they loved and embraced her as one of them when she moved in with Sharon more than six years ago. Sometimes it was too hard for him to remember who he was when he moved out to Pittsburgh, and who Alaska became when Sharon _and_ Aaron put her world on the edge to re-create the concept of her own drag persona. 

Alaska knew so well where the disaster started for them, and it wasn’t when Sharon made it to Drag Race on her first attempt. Neither was it when she snatched the crown. It was _then_ she decided, after having her own chance to snatch the title and getting so close to it but watching her chance dissolving into Jinkx’s golden-haired crowned wig, after getting the recognition and fame she was _looking for..._ to let her loose into the easiness and dizziness of being wasted, or high, or both at the same time. The temper and egotistical stubbornness of the both of them just cracked the most beautiful love she had ever had into slips of loneliness, sadness and the feeling of perpetually numbness that followed her leaving the house they’d been sharing for what it seemed an eternity. And somehow she still woke up in the middle of the night stretching her arms, looking for the warm body that used to sleep at her side and crying silently until she fell asleep again. 

_“Let's make it last, let's find a way_

_Turn out the light, come take my hand now…”_

 

Trixie had the exact time to take a shower, dry her boy hair and start to prepare her face for the make-up needed for the party. And she was _pissed_ . Trixie, as everyone had well known, was a control freak and the delay on her flight from LA to NYC was just the cherry on top of the huge disaster’s ice cream that she had been tasting all day long. She was grateful that her drag luggage was sent via UPS to Fame on the previous week, and that Fame was careful enough to make sure that the big pink case was expecting its owner where it must be intended. Trixie sighed - almost feeling dizzy from the calm when she found the huge makeup box and the _beautiful_ blond wig that she had carefully styled for that night.  After getting all her things ready to get dressed, she stood up to the shower and while the relaxingly hot water started to slide her back, she couldn’t keep herself from sighing. Not for the high temperature colliding with her tired muscles, but a memory that had been coming to her head over and over again, as vivid as the time when it had happened. 

Katya just came back from the stage after filming the last crowning - _Pearl’s_ crowning - and all the girls were leaving the backstage to go to the cocktail at the theatre’s lobby. Trixie wanted some rest before her feet became alive and decide to kill her for confining them to those really high heels.  She remembers how the Russian queen came down taking off her wig, sighing of tiredness. She begun to stretch her arms from one side to another and then asked Trixie to help stretch her legs. Playfully Trixie helped her friend pushing her legs to one side while she twisted her waist the opposite way and then to the other side.  She didn’t have a clear memory of how did it happen, but next to the last joke she played to Katya, she found herself rolling on the floor, her wig flying off her head and feeling Katya’s lips on hers. The aftertaste of cherry lipstick and the note of a cigarette. They came up together, still touching the hands of the other until they got the wigs to its place and before they could correct that, Katya - with a devilish smile - took a selfie of them with the smeared lipstick on their faces. 

It was too much for Trixie, was too much for her fragile emotions, was too much for her body - that got a hard on to make proud any man - was too much for the complicated situation she had in front of her eyes. 

_“I've longed for love like everyone else does_

_I know I'll keep searching even after today…”_

 

Pearl had been awake for far too long. Or at least, she felt that she hadn’t slept a single bit for a long while. She was so conscious and aware of her environment that when she caught what was really happening, she found herself starting with her makeup. This made her feel a bit more comfortable by having her hands busy and her mind out of the thoughts that had been harassing her since she, Ginger and Violet took that stupid flight from LA to NYC. This way was easier, keep her mind and her body out of any kind of risk that could take her feet to the room at the end of the hallway a couple of doors from her, where a good part of her secureness were entangled in Violet’s hands. She had a huge knot installed in the pit of her belly, like a feeling that something was about to get _really_ bad and she was tearing out her hair in strands trying to figure out what could it be. Back at home everything was okay. Or at least, as good as it had been since she left for the filming of the season, and she knew that everything was carefully planned for the event at the Stage 48. The announcement, and the crowning of the new reigning drag superstar… 

RuPaul would _never_ allow that her event might turn into an epic disaster, but the uneasiness on Pearl’s chest was growing with every minute hearing the ticking of the clock. The car was supposed to pick them up two hours from that time, and she was almost ready. She just had to tuck her junk, put on the hose and the tight dress, get on the heels and make sure that the wig is in place. 

 _Everything was going to be fine._   

She keeps repeating that to herself until a soft knock on the door breaks her concentration. When she goes to answer it, the vision in the door sends her confidence back to the tray in the precise moment when she sees Violet. Smiling at her with that sweet glance she reserved just for her. They were about to entangle their fingers when a third door opens, and Ginger slips out from her suite, mocking Pearl about not being ready yet. Some minutes later, the three of them are on the way to the Stage 48, where Pearl’s uneasiness gets infectious and invades her whole body with every time she craves to touch and to be touched and can’t get what she needs. 

A couple of hours, a red carpet and some backstage drinks after, the airing of the season finale was reaching the end. RuPaul’s voice was announcing clear and loud that the new reigning queen was Violet Chachki, and she made her final walk at the runway holding the scepter on the big screen back on the stage. Michelle Visage appeared, presenting the new queen - who was crowned by her predecessor Bianca del Río and shouting _“Come Through!”_ one last time. She thanks everyone for the time, the experience and the things she learned from her competitors. After the brief and playful hug she shares with Pearl in front of the crowd, the after party on the club _really_ started. 

_“We've got tonight, who needs tomorrow?_

_We've got tonight babe_

_Why don't you stay?”_


	2. Part Two: So Many Stories of where I’ve been, and how I got to where I am.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or how do you hear destiny's voice screaming your name...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all of you that took the time to read the first part, so, I give you the second and I hope you to enjoy it.

**Part Two: So Many Stories of where I’ve been, and how I got to where I am.**

 

All the Drag Race family was gathered in the VIP area, having animated conversations, dancing, drinking and throwing some shade. All the previous Reigning Queens were called to a photoshoot with the new member of the royal family. While Chad was holding a slightly drunk Sharon to help her down the stairs of the section, Jinkx, Bebe and Raja were teasing Tyra. All of this, just before Bianca went straight to get them to have the stupid session finished so she could get back to Adore and Courtney. Both of which were waiting for her to start toasting for every single thing that came to their minds. 

_“And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed_

_They don't know my head's a mess…”_  

Surrounded by the music, the dark lights and the chit-chat of Detox and Roxxxy, there was someone that was following without failure the red-haired MILF from Seattle with her eyes. Ivy was so busy trying to keep an eye on Jinkx, that she didn’t notice when Detox asked for Keith. Actually, she just got back to earth when she heard Roxxxy teasing her about making herself so interesting as far as she knew for sure that Keith bought an engagement ring before going back to Michigan. 

Ivy felt suddenly sick when Roxxxy asked for the ring that she saw Keith buying and looking for it on her finger. But even sicker when the awkward silence came after both of her fellow queens realized that she wasn’t wearing any jewel on her left hand. And how it had always been, Jinkx just appeared from nowhere with the most perfect timing, to virtually drag her to the bar for a drink.   

“Honey, are you okay?” Jinkx asked, watching over Ivy’s pale face, who slightly nodded. 

“I… I’m just a mess,” she responded. Jinkx then took her to the back door of the club. Even when the beautiful butterfly left her heartbroken a few weeks ago, she still was her friend, and she would never leave a friend in distress alone. 

Once they were out, Jinkx simply hugged the sobbing Ivy, who by the time was actually shaking and barely able to keep herself on her feet. 

“Baby you’re making me really worried. What happened? Those bitches were mean to you?” This time was Jerick talking to Dustin, not Jinkx comforting Ivy. “If they did something to you, I will put them in their place and…” 

Ivy straightens her back to look at Jerick’s worried eyes. She gives a small pathetic laugh and shakes her head. It was endearing how worried Jerick was over her - it made her feel important. 

“No darling, they didn’t do any harm. It’s just me who can’t keep my own shit together,” Dustin answers, with raspy shaken voice. She takes a few moments of silence to build up the courage to speak. “Roxxxy knew that Keith was proposing, she saw him buying the ring. Both she and Detox were looking for it on my hand.” 

As a reflex, Jerick took Dustin’s hand on his, and felt paralyzed at finding the naked finger.

_“Because even when I was flat broke_

_You made me feel like a million bucks…”_  

Sharon was shaky and not at all from the booze. No, for once it was from the dizziness that came with knowing that sooner or later she would find Alaska, and the both of them wouldn’t be able to say anything, because as it had always been that way between them. The longest wordless conversations, that silent understanding that led them to share the bedroom, to get tangled with each other. _And_ to have those nasty fights that ended with the both of them wasted, high, angry, and in the end, separated and broken.   

So no, Sharon _didn’t_ want to find her, but she knew she _would_ and it was sooner than she thought, ‘cause when they finished the photoshoot with Violet, she found herself alone in the way back. The AAA girls were giving an interview about the last campaign they were making and Sharon almost tripped down the steps when her eyes met Alaska’s face. 

As it would always be, Alaska was all smiles and flattery. Like a mermaid, elusively moving around the place even when she wasn’t moving at all, the long nails were clacking over the glass of her untouched cranberry vodka. She looked most beautiful than ever, even for someone that had just a year dropped, and just like a fly Sharon started to pace around, looking at her, wondering if Alaska missed her as much as she has all this time.  Just for a second, their eyes met, and Alaska lost her smile for a second - only to recover it when she embraced Willam and Courtney, allowing the reporter to make a couple of pictures of their smiling faces and finally let them go. Willam and Courtney easily found someone to entertain themselves with, and Alaska found herself in front of the bar, with the untouched vodka drink. Silently checking on Sharon’s approach from  the corner of her eye. She felt her hands get sweaty, just like the first time they met. 

Sharon smiles shyly - so out of character for her usual abrasive and upfront personality. After they broke up she always wanted to get closer to her, and whenever she tried to do it in a non-work-related way, it always ended messed up. So this time, pretending to be more drunk than she really was, she approached Alaska. 

“Hey Gorgeous!” Sharon calls playfully, with a twisted smile on her darkened lips. 

“Hi stranger,” Alaska replies in a raspy low voice. Both of them laugh and it’s more than they have done together in the last year. 

“It’s been a while and I haven’t been back at Pittsburgh for some time, how you doin’?” asked the queen in green, quietly smiling at Sharon, who was authentically blushing from watching Alaska’s smile. 

“I haven’t been at home lately either. The tour got me out from Pittsburgh more than six months, I miss being there already and…” Sharon doubted for a second, and the look on Alaska’s face was pure curiosity. 

As if they were sharing a hive mind, they simultaneously said, “I’ve missed you.” 

The awkwardness of that confession was broken as fast as it started, and it broke with one of crowd’s guest asking to have a picture with them. After a few words and some goodbye kisses, Alaska and Sharon were left alone, and found themselves walking through the people to find a quieter place to share a moment. They didn’t need a time together in some years, but that moment was just a breaking point, and when they finally reached a relatively calmed spot on the backstage, they looked into each other eyes.

  
“I…” Sharon started, clearly finding hard to put her thoughts together. Maybe she was as drunk as she had been acting. “I’m so sorry, I know we promised to keep being friends and count on each other, and that I broke my word so many times.” 

She said all this with a mixture of shame, sorrow and rage towards herself, and finally put her head down. She couldn’t dare look Alaska in the eyes. “I promised to be with you whenever you need me, and I’ve failed so badly.” 

Alaska trembles for a second, and then sighs. Her next words are spoken in a whisper. “I know. We promised so many things to each other, and we weren’t able to keep our words.” 

“We just messed things up, with us, with the careers, with everything… now everything is going well but I still think that there’s something missing,” Alaska tilts Sharon’s chin up with one finger. “and I still think that the missing thing is you in my life. I don’t know if that’s right, but, it’s the way I feel.” 

Sharon sighs deeply and puts her arms around Alaska’s waist. 

_“You see the smile that's on my mouth_

_It's hiding the words that don't come out...”_

 

Trixie was still on her skates, there was something on rolling over the floor that led her to a state of full mental peace… or maybe just gave her something to concentrate with instead of letting her head fly to those tricky territories again. Even more so when the performances of the other competitors were about to end and she needed a quick escape for whatever could put its face in front of her. Basically, she needed not to think and just keep moving, wherever the hell could it take her to.   

For Katya it was different, she was ecstatic - watching everything from the most hidden corner she could reach. By this point she had survived a flight back from Boston to NYC, she had survived the fact of checking in to the hotel room, she survived the red carpet, all those damned interviews and the hideous photo sessions after that. But most of all, she managed to survive the urge to get a drink, or the other urge to have a cigarette and the worse of all of the urges: to have Trixie close and being unable to touch her the way she wanted to. 

Suddenly, Katya felt so tired. Before she arrived to the party, she thought seriously on hooking up with some random guy at the place. That was so easy to get, many fans wanted to know for sure if Katya was the sassy hooker she claimed to be. But when it was about to happen, she just decided it was that easy, that she didn’t want it anymore. In fact, as far as she could remember, she  had been dick deprived for a _long_ while. She didn’t have a guy since that night, when she tricked Trixie for the simple taste of her lips, and for some reason it had been enough… at least for her, at least for the last couple of months, while they were complying with the multiple bookings to accomplish before the crowning.   

Trixie was rolling all over the place, when some distracted one stepped down the stairs. Someone that was stuck within a bleached blond wig and a black sequin dress, and casually tripped on one of Trixie’s skates. The doll was about to apologize for being so distracted, when the voice of Katya caught her attention, pressing a brake on the floor and to keep her arm steady to help the other one to get back to her feet. All the people were too busy watching Ginger performing, so busy that no one even noticed when Katya looked straight to Trixie’s eyes. Or even when Trixie held Katya by the waist, so close that the tuck of the both of them had were in a serious risks of being broken, ‘cause unconsciously they grinded a bit on each other by the proximity.   

“Take me out of here bitch,” Katya murmured in Trixie´s ear and she, being so _eager_ to please, took Katya’s hand. Making a way for the both of them across the people on the place.

_“I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules_

_But baby I broke them all for you…”_

Pearl had just came down from the stage when they announced Violet’s performance. The people craved to see the reigning queen show her skilled ass on the stage, specially after the crowning and the show of all the other competitors of that season.  

Violet came out showing all smiles and that vintage elegance that has been her trademark all along, and Pearl’s heart skipped a beat when she saw her climbing up the strings of fabric. The strength and the fluency of movement, the graceful way she was dancing in the air, tangled with the two long ribbons. When Violet fell down to her back looking to the crowd, their eyes met, and Pearl could feel her mouth going dry. Even more so when Violet’s lips formed the word “come” that made her cock ache with need. 

Everything had been subtle between them. First a supportive smile from one to another, then a sympathetic hug when needed, even the time spent together out of the set, out of the world. That epic battle of wisdom with their benefactor that led them to share space, drinks, pot and finally a bed that allowed them to entangle with each other. Sharing lips, skin, caresses and endless passion, that started with just one kiss and became something bigger. Something that no one could sniff out, even Ginger’s expert eyes or Kennedy’s natural nosiness were able to notice. 

That evening, when the three of them were waiting for the winner’s announcement, it was just a reflex when Violet put her hands on Pearl’s thigh, when Pearl circled Violet’s waist with her arm, and then, when they were embraced. A whisper that said _“Congrats bae… I love you”_ , the instant smile that was put on Violet’s face, and the dreamy eyes that Pearl fixated on her while she was walking away to her crown… after that, they couldn’t find a second to share their joy. They actually hadn’t been able to meet each other in less than four hours, and when Pearl watched her performing, that little voice inside her head told her to get ready to say goodbye, ‘cause she would be left behind… again. 

Pearl got her feet back to earth when she heard the crowd burst in applause, and the club’s staff was making Violet’s way back to the dress rooms safe, when she passed besides Pearl, she dared to take her hand and pull her a bit, inviting to follow that path.  At that point of the night, Violet was ready to kill whoever who dared to interrupt her little break, specially when she heard Pearl’s heels clacking behind them on the hallway, a sigh of relief escaped Violet’s lips when she found herself alone in the dressing room, a few seconds later, Pearl managed to sneak there and the instant their eyes meet again, nothing stopped them from crashing into each other’s lips. 

Hands in movement, entangled bodies and a rain of whispered _I love you_ s filling the air. 

“We shouldn’t…” Pearl whispered, finding herself unable to release Violet’s tiny waist from the tight grip of her own arm, while Violet answered biting her earlobe. 

“I don’t care, I got the crown, this is over, and I want you… I _need_ you now.” Those simple words made Pearl’s blood boil, tightening the grip on her lover even more.  They’ve started rolling all over the place, touching, kissing, teasing each other. The magic was only broken when someone knocked the door, asking for Violet to be available in five. 

_“No they don't know who I really am_

_And they don't know what I've been through_

_Like you do, and I was made for you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to let me know your opinion.
> 
> Special thanks to LovelyPlantPrincess for her great help beta reading this story.
> 
> More Special thanks to 7ate9 (ayyestylinson) for the Kudos.


	3. Part 3.1: The Resolution of all the Fruitless Searches.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or how to prove that the point is all about love.

**Part 3.1: The Resolution of all the Fruitless Searches.**

 

_“Love, I don't like to see so much pain_

_so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away.”_

Jinkx looked back to Ivy’s eyes, at that point, the butterfly was openly crying, her makeup was totally fucked up and for the Seattle’s Queen, there hasn’t been any other image that made her hold her breathe like that.  Even with reddened eyes, black tears sliding down her cheeks and the cherry lipstick half smeared, half gone by the nervous chewing of her bottom lip, Ivy looked beautiful, and for a second, Jinkx catched that hopeful sparkle that shone on the back of Ivy’s eyes.

“I’ve asked for some time to think, I… I was so sure of sharing my life with Keith but…” Ivy started, speaking very fast  “it just happened, I just realized that before I give a step like that, I needed to… I needed to see you again.” She said the last words in a breathless whisper.

Jinkx gave her a cautious glance, she actually didn’t know what to say or if she planned somehow to say anything to her in a situation like that. She just forgot it, a part of herself was about dying from curiosity, the other part, the seriously harmed one wanted to make sure where Ivy’s need came from.  

“What do you mean? Why do you need to see me again?” she finally asked, giving herself a chance to understand and analyze what was she going to do. Ivy sighed heavily, printed on her face, an internal struggle, she never needed so hard to find the words to make clear what she was feeling.

“I needed to see you again, to make sure that I’m not making a mistake”.

_“Love I get so lost, sometimes_

_days pass and this emptiness fills my heart.”_

Jerick’s heart skipped a beat. He had got the time he was almost _begging_ to get, he didn’t know if he had minutes, hours or days, but he needed to make every single second to count. Dustin looked back at him, a shy little smile intending to appear on his lips; leaning his head, he got some closeness with both the foreheads barely touching.  Jerick exhaled, finding himself unable to speak, and realizing how much he needed to really touch Dustin, when he found his own hands resting on his lower back.

“Are you sure of this, Dustin? ‘Cause if you open this door, I will not be able to take it back,” he asked, starting to slowly caress him.

“I don’t want you to take it back Jer… I want you,” Dustin answered, closing his hands behind Jerick’s neck, hesitantly he slightly moved his head to the side, fitting with it the other set of lips, that eagerly fitted with his. First slowly and then hungrily they kissed each other, with all the untold words floating around them, melting with each little peck they delivered to each other.

Some minutes and some New York City’s cold air made them feel the need to realize how smeared and fucked up their makeup was, they went back to the club, half laughing, half sighing, holding hands and catching sights of each other from time to time.

_“But whichever way I go_

_I come back to the place you are.”_

When they finally reached the door of one of the dress rooms, Jinkx let Ivy in and closed the door behind herself before sighing and look straight back at her, who was actually laughing at her messed up face. 

“This has no possible fix… only redoing.” Ivy looked back to Jinkx through the mirror. 

“Or de-dragging,” Jinkx responded, before taking a huge breathe. “You know we will have to talk about all of this, right?” 

The red haired started her small speech, giving a doubtful step towards, “You know you need to tell me all the information, so I can know where I’m stepping in.” 

“Well, I’d rather you to put something more than your feet in here,” Ivy responded. “I was actually hoping to share one, two or many nights by your side. I asked Keith for time to think, ‘cause I need to be sure that you’re what I want, and that I really am what you want Jer…”  she trailed off, while she turned back to look straight to Jinkx. 

Jinkx approached her, taking a makeup towel on the go while Ivy extended her arms to her. 

“Are you saying that you chose me over Keith?” she asked, taking her hand and dragging Ivy to the couch, to start cleaning her face.    

“I’m saying that after that gig, after that kiss, I only could find myself thinking of you,” Ivy said, making Jinkx hold her breath. “I’m saying that when I went back home, and Keith asked me for an answer, you were the only thing that I could possibly think of as a home.”  


_“Without a noise, without my pride_

_I reach out from the inside.”_

  
She found herself unable to say a single thing, so she started wiping the makeup off her face, looking to those beautiful hazel eyes, that were staring at her with some mixture of curiosity and hope.

“I just can’t believe this… be kind and pinch me, so I can wake up before this can break my heart even more”, Jinkx whispered, making Ivy laugh a bit.

“Silly… I’m honest, ‘cause I need to make sure that we can make this work.”

 Jinkx finished cleaning Ivy’s right eye, and finally smiled back at her, and took one of her hands with her own.

 “You know that I’m fucked up in many ways, and that I’m annoying and that I’m not an easy going one… but I love you, and I’ll do whatever it takes…” she exhaled sharply and started cleaning the other eye. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you by my side, in my life, as my friend, my lover and my partner in crime… I have loved you for so long Dustin... “

 Tears were dropping from Jinkx’s eyes at that point, and Ivy just leaned on her and kissed her lips again.

 “Then make my head clear, ‘cause right now it’s floating away,” Ivy said with a soft laugh, by the time Jinkx finished de-dragging Ivy’s face; Ivy had half de-dragged Jinkx herself, and they were so into each other, that didn’t realized that the party inside the club was close to its end.  They changed into their boy clothing and left the dress room and the backstage area holding hands tighter.  

_“I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive_

_and all my instincts, they return_

_and the grand facade, so soon will burn.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, feel free to give me your comments, I'm so happy that so many of you are reading this and I hope to keep sharing it with you.


	4. Part 3.2:  And if I didn’t love you, you would know.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or because we are weird, and awkward, and beautiful, and spooky, and the monsters we will always be in love with each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter as I'm publishing it in a very special date, so please feel free to leave your comments.

**Part 3.2:  And if I didn’t love you, you would know.**

  
  


_ “Comfortable as I am, _

_ I need your reassurance.” _

  
Embraced as they were, Alaska and Sharon started moving oddly slowly, the music in the club wasn’t meant to work as a slow dancing piece, but they just started moving and weren’t in any intention on changing the rhythm and suddenly, both of them were laughing, ‘cause it was the same way it all started, with them being so different from all the world around them.  

“We’re still awkward,” Alaska said, while Sharon took her closer to her body. “We will always be awkward, and different, and beautiful, and stupid, because that’s what we are baby, we’re the monsters and the world can keep its opinion to itself.”

Then Sharon smiled, in the same crooked wicked way that she has when was especially happy.

“We will always be weirdos,” Alaska smiled back “and that’s what we love about each other.”

Alaska tightened her grip over Sharon’s shoulders, there was something on that kind of contact that always made her feel safe and sound, and for a second, she totally forgot that they had been apart for some years now. She suddenly hated to feel that safety in Sharon’s arms, and most of all, hated that the magic that they both created together found a tragic ending after a drunk night.  Bringing those memories back, Alaska shook her head and tried to get away from Sharon, but the spooky queen tightened her hold, making impossible to break the contact.

“Just one dance… please,” Sharon whispered in Alaska’s ear, and she decided not to fight the relief of being embraced with Sharon one more time.  
  


_ “Comfortable as you are,  _

_ You count the days.” _

  
Sharon’s head went straight to her fiancé, Chad, who somehow figured that Aaron needed space to think… to make himself clear, and that’s why he decided on not going with him to New York City.  Actually, thinking of Chad made her feel guilty of being that comfortable holding Alaska, as far as she could remember, the presence of that newcomer on her life was a space to breathe, to start over, to find the answers she had been looking for since the night she saw Alaska walking out of her life.   She couldn’t help it: things with Alaska had been so natural from the very beginning, even when their relationship had been a rollercoaster,  everything seemed to be on the place it was meant to be.

The thing she couldn’t keep denying, was that as much as her relationship was going somewhere and she felt totally in love with Chad, she wasn’t able to stop loving Alaska either. It didn’t matter how long they have been apart, they will always belong to each other. Even when they have started different paths on their own. Alaska knew that Sharon was starting to fly away from her, so she managed to bring her back 

“Where are you going Sharon?” she whispered on her ear, making the other look back at her, focusing her blue eyes on hers. 

“I just… don’t know. I have so many things running through my head,” she said, smiling apologetically, and leaning her forehead over Alaska’s;  she understood that as much as she hated that magical moments between them, she always will love to know what was going over Sharon’s troubled head.

_ “You say you see the light now  _

_ at the end of this narrow hall.” _

  
Alaska’s eyes darkened for a bit, even when she knew that Aaron and Chad were together, and that their relationship had gone serious from some time back; even when she started over by herself, she couldn’t stand sharing her Sharon… Justin’s  _ Aaron  _ with anyone else. ‘Cause those moments were just for them. 

“Just stay with me, ok? I know you always felt like a living dead, but I’d rather dance with someone that’s not intending to eat my brain,” her classic whiny voice and some humor will not harm anyone, and will help to protect her, to hide the disappointment she felt when Sharon’s head started that mad race.

And there it was, the shining smile that she treasured and had missed for the last two years, the devilish and honest smile that Sharon had always spread to her without hesitation.

“There it is, the twisted devilish smile that I love,” Alaska said, teasing Sharon, who started laughing and trying to reach the ticklish spot on her ribs.  Alaska contorted herself for a moment in Sharon’s grip, until they finally realized that they’ve been giving such a show to a curious group that was staring at them not so discreetly. So they both released each other, and holding hands gave an exaggerated bow to their crowd before they gracefully started walking away, on the search of another lonely, dark and hidden spot to get entangled again.

_ “And if I didn't love you, you would know  _

_ And why can't you just hold me? “ _

Once they found a place, they just stood glaring at each other’s eyes, they were having one of those famous silent conversations, and this one seemed to be very important, ‘cause none of them seemed to want to be the first taking out the gaze, a couple of minutes later, Alaska smiled to Sharon, and Sharon took Alaska back into her arms.  

“This is the best way to get you, you know?” Alaska told her in a playful way, while Sharon leaned her forehead on Alaska’s. 

“What do you mean? Get me in a staring contest? You know you are always the first to take it off.” And after saying that, she finally kissed her, as easy as it had always been between them, as easy as she felt her heart beating trying to jump out of her chest.

Alaska took a strand of the wig behind Sharon’s ear, looking at her after the brief and breathtaking kiss. 

“You’re such a talker… that’s cheating,” she said, before reaching for Sharon’s lips again, this time in a longer and passionate kiss. Everything Sharon wanted to do, was to de-drag Alaska right there, to get de-dragged by her and touch her, taste her skin and give her head until she screamed his name, ‘cause no one can scream Aaron that loud and still make it sound amazing.

“Let’s get the hell out of here… I need you,” she whispered, just to hold her breathe feeling Alaska’s long fingers rubbing her tuck.  

“Let’s get the hell out of here Aaron, or I’ll untuck you right here, right now,” Justin said in a low and almost threatening voice, that gave Aaron the chill.

They kissed again, this time with greed and hunger, and then they ran out through the back door of the club, running wildly into the New Yorker night, with nothing but the desire they felt for each other boiling through their veins.

_ “Poor little misunderstood baby  _

_ No one likes a sad face  _

_ But I can't remember life without him.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my great beta reader LittlePlantPrincess for all the work done with this story.


	5. Part 3.3:  It's Never to become for I am not the one.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with rollerskates, an over crowded place and spoons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New week, new delivery, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did while writing it.

**Part 3.3:  It's Never to become for I am not the one.**

  
_“And can he see_

_how much she means to me?”_

 

The way through the long hallway that lead to the dressing rooms seemed never ending for Katya, who was already starting to regret her request to Trixie, who was still rolling on her skates, fast enough to go forward and not releasing Katya’s hand out of hers.

“What’s the hurry Tracy? Dressing rooms aren’t going anywhere bitch,” the Russian doll said, intending to take her hand back, failing miserably with the iron grip that Trixie still kept on it .

“Why do you call me Tracy?” Trixie asked half laughing, half recovering her breath and the intensity of her gaze, making Katya forget how to breathe.

“Cause I like how it sounds, either way, you look more like a Tracy than a Trixie,” she explained, making Trixie look at her clearly confused.

“Whatever you say kitty girl… meow.” Katya frowned and Trixie burst out laughing, still pulling her to one of the now empty dress rooms.

Trixie opened the door of one of the rooms, and supporting her weight on a brake, she allowed Katya to step in. She followed her with a gaze, paying a very close attention on how her padded hips swayed with each step, and how the straps of her sequin dress shaped Katya’s ass to perfection, got Trixie a little dry mouthed.  Trixie had figured so many scenarios on how that moment would be, on how she was going to be close to her, how she would caress her platinum blond hair and would say all the things that had been running through her mind, but at that moment, she just felt frozen and numb.

_“And does he notice_

_my feelings for him?”_

Brian was showing himself on payback for his own nervousness, at that moment he didn’t even felt like Katya, he just felt like himself, trapped in a tight dress, five pounds of padding, a thirsty wig and the most uncomfortable tuck that he had ever had to bear. Alright, everything was getting a bit messy and he was almost on the verge of a panic attack: that would end, for _sure_ in catastrophe.  Taking a deep breath, he… _she_ turned back to face Trixie, who made her jump when the door of the room got closed.  

“Katya, you look like you’re freaking out girl, what’s happening?” she asked, feeling concerned and a little rejected for a second.

Katya gave two steps towards her,  reading easily the hurt in Trixie’s eyes.

“It’s just that… now that I have you here, I’m not sure of what to _do_ ,” she whispered those last words, so Trixie rolled over to her. She didn’t feel capable of being apart from her for a single second, for some reason, she had the sensation that if they started on the place they’d left it  - surrounded by people - it would be easier for the both of them to relax and start spilling the beans.

“Bitch, you’re making me _crazy_ and…” Katya started, and almost immediately fell silent, when Trixie reached her, pulling her in a tight hug that felt even more personal than the one they shared in the club and when they were grinding each other’s tuck.  

“No. bitch, you made _me_ crazy a couple of months ago, in that theater when you took that selfie after kissing me… what do you _want_ from me Katya?”

  
_“What will become of my dear friend?_

_Where will his actions lead us then?”_

Katya trembled, holding on Trixie like a cat on the edge of the tub avoiding to get showered.

“I don’t know Trixie, I just wanted you that night, as much as I want you right now,” she let those words out, like they were the most simple thing to say, the most simple thing to understand, and Trixie went all shaky. So she tightened her hold on Katya’s waist and let the both of them fall down on the second hand couch they had behind them.

“There it is then… ‘cause I want you too… so _bad_ , it’s like I couldn’t take you off of my mind in any fucking second of the day Katya, and it’s _killing_ me.”

Trixie looked at her, who was moving on her side to be able to look at her eyes.

_‘She’s so young, and pretty, and young, and ingenue, and young, and disturbingly hot, and young, and get the fuck off of my mind, I need to be focused!’_ Katya shouted at the disqualifying voice in her head. For the first time in, basically all her _life_ she was considering to take what she wanted, and didn’t have time for stupid _pointless_ arguments, even when the arguments _were_ with herself.

“I’ve tried, I swear… I’ve tried to stay away from you, but I just can’t, is like you were some huge fire lamp and I’m the moth flying around you.” And as it had always been, simple honesty left Katya’s lips. Half defeated, half concentrated on figuring out what she would do after saying that. Trixie’s blue eyes sparkled looking at her, like there was no one apart of her, the seriously fucked up, anxiety addicted and alcohol dropped Katya: a living mess, whose cheeks started to turn in a beautiful shade of pink.  

“I think we’ve been through many things now, and you’re my best friend and for fuck sake, I love you Katya,” Trixie said, not even conscious about the dimension of her own words, and for the first time in many shared moments, Katya remained speechless.

_“I sense there's something in the wind_

_that feels like tragedy's at hand…”_

Katya had that sensation of something going wrong since the very first moment she landed her feet at the Airport in Boston, but she figured that was going to be something about the party, about the crowning… about some other queen, actually never suspected that this time would be about her, and in that moment, when she realized that was virtually trapped within a second hand couch and Trixie’s dragged body, then she knew for sure that the uneasiness was for her, for allowing herself go that far. _No_ , for allowing _Trixie_ to speak that _much_ and kiss that _less_.  She always had a clever mouth, but in that moment absolutely nothing came to her. It was like her mind and her beloved paranoia decided to run away and get a hell of long vacation, leaving her and her useless tongue to drown.

The most uncomfortable of the silences raised between them, while the sparkle that had been shining on Trixie’s eyes died at last, still waiting for a single sign that Katya was still alive. The tight hold that the doll kept on her finally disappeared, making Katya feel cold on the spots where those hands were touching her just few seconds ago, and she couldn’t help to whine feeling already lonely and a total fail.

“Tracy… Trix, come _on_ bitch… _look at me_ doll,” Katya asked in a cautious voice, having a deep intake of air to control the anxiety that threatened to overwhelm her. It was even worse when Trixie finally looked back at her, with a half hurt, half ironic face. Katya swallowed, and breathing deeply once again, she started talking. “I don’t know if I love you, but if being in love means to feel this monstrous about seeing that look on your face… I may think that I’m madly and hopelessly in love with you, but I’m also scared as hell, ‘cause I just don’t know what to do next.”

  
_“What will become of my dear friend?_

_Where will his actions lead us then?”_

A little smile grew on Trixie’s over-painted lips, and then she closed her eyes, feeling suddenly tired and somehow powerful at the same time; she started drawing patterns over Katya’s dress, lost for a second on the funny feeling of the sequins running down her fingertips; Katya started to feel nervous with that much silence, but she couldn’t blame Trixie for keep quiet after dropping that “I love you” bomb and receiving not even a thank you in response.

After long minutes, that Katya felt like the slow and tortuous running of endless silent hours, Trixie opened her eyes and looking at her, she said: “so what’s next? shall I spoon you in this old couch for the rest of the night?”; the both of them bursted in laughter, not so sure if it was anxiety, nervousness or just the response to such an stupid idea of spending a whole night together spooning uncomfortably on that dress room couch.

_“Although I'd like to join the crowd_

_in their enthusiastic cloud,_

_try as I may it doesn't last.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all your support on reading the story, I'd like to hear more from you.


	6. Part 3.4:  There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one about secrets, crowns and forbidden fruits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, we're reaching the end of this story, we have only two chapters left and I'd really like to know what you think about what you have read already, thanks for the kudos and the time you take on reading this few words.

Part 3.4:  There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin.

 

_“Knows everybody's disapproval_

_I should've worshipped her sooner”_

 

They took a minute to breathe, the tightness on their tucks had became painful at this point, they stared at each other, one being pure fire and desire, the other lust and rage,  they clearly needed more than few minutes on each other to get the water peaceful again, both of them were inhaling through their parted lips, and the knocks on the door insisted again; rolling her eyes Violet answered.

“I’ll need more than five to get on that corset, so give me at least 20, and I’ll be back there”, her voice raspy and more severe than she intended, Pearl was inhaling Violet’s perfume on her neck, while caressing and pinching a bit her butt; and Violet just slipped her hand between Pearl’s thighs.  A painful moaning escaped Pearl’s lips while her dick was struggling to get rid of the fucking duct tape.

“Pumpkin… that hurts”, she said, not taking away her face off Violet’s neck, who responded,  “Ok, I’ll untuck you and do something for that good friend of mine” and quickly took her hands to the back of her lover’s dress,  pulling up the short skirt and sliding her hands under the fishnet, hoses and padding, making its way down Pearl’s hips.  

“Bae if you do that I’ll want to have that gorgeous ass of yours… oh fuck” Pearl’s voice was dark by now, she was sweating and when Violet started to go down on her and took on her hands the duty of untucking her, she trembled.   

“Boo, you have nothing left to untuck, he’s already calling my name”  and with those last words, Pearl breathed heavily at feeling the release of her dick, quickly followed by the warmth of Violet’s hands.

The voice outside the door yelled _“you have 30 minutes, if you’re not ready, I’ll come and get you”_ , Violet was unable to answer, her mouth was really busy on the south part of Matt’s continent; who, intending to get Violet’s back safe, answered on the best impersonation of her that he could make, and she could take, counting on the blow job she was having.

  
“ _Knows everybody's disapproval_

_I should've worshipped her sooner”_

Some minutes after that, Violet was re doing half of her smeared makeup, and Pearl was lacing her corset, taking the chance to touch as much skin as she could.

“Pumpkin… you’re going to be my doom”, Pearl said, blowing some kisses on Violet’s shoulder plate.

“Too late for that Boo, I’m doomed by you”, she answered with a certainty that was kind of scary, “and I know for sure that if I’m not with you, this shitty world would be a nightmare”; Pearl’s features softened, Violet was that something that made her feel a part of something important and beautiful and real, that’s why she fell in love with her, ‘cause everything with her made sense, even inside of the everlasting of her life.

“Oh… bitch, careful, you tightened that too much” Violet said, when Pearl pulled the lace of the corset too hard, almost immediately, Pearl loosened the lace and Violet turned to her, holding on her by the neck.

“I promise I’ll make it worth when all this shit is over, Pumpkin”, Pearl told Violet, who was smiling at her, frantically and joyous.

“Oh no darling, I’ll make it worth when I get you alone away from this walls, I can barely wait”, Violet said, giving her a quick peck on the lips.

The security guard knocked the door again _“Violet, time to get out darling… RuPaul is waiting for you now out there”._ Violet sighed defeated, and turned back allowing Pearl to finish lacing her, and few seconds later, they gave a sad farewell before she went back to the club.  

 

_“I was born sick, but I love it_

_Command me to be well”_

After the door closed, Pearl got out from her hidden spot behind the clothes racks, she sat in front of the light of the dresser, and started redoing her makeup, she was not the winner of the race, but she was a runner up, and the security team were about to start looking for her any moment now, so she adjusted the vanity mirror and started working with her highlights and concealing on the chin, a light shadow of her beard was threatening her porcelain flawless face, and she covered it, making herself occupied again, so occupied that she didn’t realize when Fame got inside the dress room.

“Honey, I was about to call police if I didn’t find you here” she told, making Pearl jump from her seat.  

“You _scared_ the shit out of me Kurtis” she said, turning to look back at Fame, who took a comb and started re-dressing Pearl’s wig on her head.  

“You look like a mess, let me help you girl… Michelle was looking for you as if her life depended on that, and adding one plus one, Violet came back here when she finished performing, and you disappeared right after her… easy to guess where you were” she said in a more than calmed voice, that made Matt feel a little bit safer and eager to speak.

“Thank god that it was you and not Michelle or anyone else… I still have to put my tuck back on its place”, some desperation showed on the back of his eyes, and Fame noticed, putting an arm on Pearl’s shoulder trying to soothe her.

“It’s too much, you know? the last 30 minutes was everything that we had today and I’m afraid that will be like these all year long” her voice was shaky and her hands were trembling.

“Easy girl… let me help you”, Fame left the comb aside and took the brush from Pearl’s hand, turning her to help finishing the makeup.  “You knew there was a chance to be you the one in her position, and you embraced that possibility, but  it’s hard to be in the other side… now you have two options darling”, Fame said, looking older and wiser than she was, “you can get upset about all the situation, or become her partner in crime, she will need someone to rely on when times get hard, and as much as I’m her friend, I can’t provide her the safety and support that you can… as her beloved”.

  
_“If I'm a pagan of the good times_

_My lover's the sunlight”_

Pearl sighed and fighting away the sensation of being defeated she went back on her feet, giving Fame a tight hug, half thanking her advice and half holding back her urgence to run away and forget that she felt so desperate, a second later they both were leaving the dress room, finding some security guard members looking for them and escorting their way to make sure they reach all the queens on time for the shoot.  

Violet was already there, posing, but looking a bit distracted while she was searching for Pearl on the crowd, she didn’t know for sure how long have they been separated, but she felt it like something way too long.  

Pearl looked at the stage, where Violet were now posing besides RuPaul, looking stunning and kind of lost, when their eyes met, Violet gave a beautiful smile that, for Pearl, lit up the place, it was that moment when she understood that she would give anything for bringing that smile back over and over again.

When the party was finally over, and they  were allowed to get into their boy skins again, Pearl and Violet made sure to be the last on getting a turn on the room they were before, the last to get de-dragged, last to pick up their things and the last to get the hell out  of the place, Pearl got a cab to pick them up and take them to her own apartment… they barely made it through the door.

 

_“I'll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife_

_Offer me my deathless death_

_Good God, let me give you my life.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for you to know, when the last chapter come out, I'll share you the playlist that I used to create this text.


	7. Part Four: It was the power to make our own destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one happening the morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have just one more chapter left, and I'm really happy on how many of you took the time to read this story, thanks to all of you and I hope you enjoy the actual ending of the fic, next week, we'll have the fifth part of this ride: an epilogue.

Part 4:  It was the power to make our own destiny  


_“What was it that we did? I can't remember_

_Only the way you looked at me as you pulled that slide back.”_

  


Jinkx and Ivy left the Stage 48 together, de-dragged and still holding hands, all the way back to Jink’x hotel room in downtown New York, once they were there all alone, they silently stared at each other for what seemed a long time.

“So… here we are” Jinkx broke the silence, feeling suddenly shy, and Ivy smiled back at her, with an innocent glimpse  “alone and together… that’s how we are”, both of them laughed, and finally hugged tightly and started a fierce kissing battle, that got them half naked in less than a minute.

“Wait… just, wait a second” Jinkx said, breaking the kiss and making some space between them, just to look at Ivy’s eyes and the sight was breathtaking: bright eyes, blushed cheeks, swollen red lips and that glorious naked chest, the belt undone and messy dark brown hair; Jinkx sighed deeply and found the guts to ask one last time “are you sure? I don’t want to mess things up…”

Ivy slid her fingers on the waistband of Jinkx’s black jeans, and less than an inch closer she said “I’ve never been this sure of anything ever… so please, don’t stop now, I want to feel you”. And with those words, the almost childish foreplay became a vorágine of passion.

A few hours later, when the city was half asleep, half full of the bright colors of the dying night and the sunrise early golden shade, Jerick was still asleep, watching Dustin sleep leaning on his chest, the soft sounds of his breathing and that unmistakable scent of recent sex filling their lungs, he felt that something magical had happened within them, something that has been trying to get alive since the very first moment they’ve met.  

He understood why it had happened after such a long time, he understood that Dustin needed to find his own way to him, and he was so grateful that it had finally happened.

Dustin opened his eyes just to find a very distracted Jerick looking at the sunrise light across the window, still holding him against his naked body, and he found that he was so beautiful, and started questioning himself about what took him so much time to get realized that Jerick was everything he was looking for.  

Even when he was thrilled by the image he was witnessing, he couldn’t help himself of touching Jerick’s belly, thing that brought him back to the moment.

“Good morning sunshine”, Dustin said with sleepy voice, “Good morning gorgeous”, Jerick answered, giving him a full mouth smile.

_“Soft words I can no longer recall_

_The taste of the air, of you, the weight of it in my hand.”_

 

New York City’s traffic were heavy even for the hour, and Alaska got impatient _“how long will it take? damn it!”_ , she shouted on her head, while they were waiting on a red light and Sharon was really busy trying to eat inch by inch the skin of her neck, leaving the club that way was reckless and some kind of irresponsible from them, but to hell with the party, they craved each other and she would be damned if she didn’t took that chance, she’s been missing Sharon for so long, that anything else around was nearly nonexistent.

When they finally reached Alaska’s suite, it took just a couple of ragged hoses and teared up dresses to finally get skin to skin, and that was relieving for the both of them, and Sharon knew for sure that, as much as she fell in love with Chad, she would never be able to love him the same crazy and passionate way that she has loved Alaska for so long, even when the both of them knew that there were no way back on their relationship, and that night was the closure they were needing since Justin walked away from their shared home back in Pittsburgh.

That night, there weren’t words, apologies or any sort of thinking, there were just lust, passion and the both of them, one last night, one last time to be just them right in that moment.  Mercilessly, Aaron did Justin, and Justin did Aaron, taking no prisoners, giving no room to second thoughts, just giving the other what needed and taking it back.  When they finally fell on the bed exhausted and happy, they embraced each other, slipping easily on a dreamless sleep, and for the first time in two years, they felt totally in peace with them, and with the world.

A hard knock on the door brought them back to earth, making Alaska flinch behind Sharon, and making Sharon yell “what the fuck do you want?”

The door got opened and a de-dragged Courtney appeared through its frame “Good Lord, I thought a robber has taken you down and you’re here, screwing your ex, Alaska... you made me worry for nothing”, both Alaska and Sharon laughed loudly.

“Well, as you can see, I’m absolutely alright, so if you allow us, we need a shower and to get dressed” Alaska said, jumping out of the bed on her glorious nakedness and smeared makeup face.

“OH MY GOD! put some clothes on girl… Willam is waiting for us to have breakfast, is almost 11 a.m., so hurry up”, Courtney said, blocking her eyes with her hands  “have a good day too, Sharon” she finally said, before closing back the door after her.

_“Your full lips, the depth of your eyes_

_The way it is that you”_  


Katya and Trixie actually spent most of the night spooning on a couch… well, not the second hand couch at the dress room, actually  not only on a couch, they spooned on the corner of the shower under the water, on the door frame, the bed and in some miraculous way that kept all their bones safe and their faces unharmed, they felt the first morning lights spooning on a very hidden and uncomfortable spot on the floor within the wall and the bed of Katya’s hotel room, all entangled together with the sheets covering just their legs.  

“You know, I’m planning on move to LA anytime soon”, Trixie said, rubbing the red spot on Katya’s shoulder fair skin, where she bit her sometime before rolling down the bed.

“But I hate LA, too much sun, too much people, too much…” Katya said, when she was abruptly interrupted by Trixie sliding inside her again.

“Too much whining, bitch… I’m moving there, not asking for your permission if I may say… oh!”, Trixie closed her eyes, allowing the sensation of Katya wrapping her run through her skin, “well… ah... I… I’m not leaving Boston” Katya said, tightening herself around Trixie, “and that’s my last word, Tracy” and then stretched her arm backwards, to pinch Trixie’s butt.  

After that, they kept fucking non stop until they felt the exhaustion of the night and the _all-you-can-fuck_ marathon on their shoulders.

Some hours later, they were on the bath tub, Katya holding Trixie from behind and rubbing her belly “about that LA thing… it would be better if you come with me Kitty Kat”, Katya laughed at the pet name “did I told you how much I hate that Kitty Kat thing?”

Trixie leaned to lay her back on Katya’s chest “as much as I hate you calling me Tracy, so fair play”, both of them laughed and then, Katya said “so… you think it will be better if I go there with you? I mean, to LA”, she asked, sounding too serious for her.  

“Anything is better if you’re around, I don’t think I could manage to be away from you for a long time”, Trixie said, getting on her knees to turn and face Katya, who almost amazed, looked at Trixie, feeling suddenly overwhelmed.

“I’ll consider it, but before you take your stuff and move there, I’d be more than happy if you come to spend a couple of days… weeks… months… years… dunno, whatever the time it is, with me at my place in Boston” Katya suggested, biting her lower lip sincerely doubtful.  

Trixie cupped Katya’s face on her hand, and leaned to kiss her, she had imagined that scene so many times, that she couldn’t help but making it real, then she said “for sure I will, I think we have a couple of free weeks, so we’ll take that time for us.”

_“Immediate_

_Lost in you, the world a fluid blur, water.”_  


Jason and Matt took it where the left it a couple of hours before, secured behind the door of Matt’s apartment, they collapsed on each other, looking eagerly for the body of the other, finally allowed to be themselves, to make love in total freedom, no more hidden dark spots, no more clandestine shared nights, no more restrained passion and covered hopeful glances.  Lost on his own sensations and emotions, Matt closed his eyes, and Jason looked at him, who was all worked out on top, moving gently inside out, all beautiful in his most primal state and he couldn’t help himself when he screamed “I love you!”

Matt opened his eyes, just to find Jason’s full of tears and he leaned to kiss him, he started to move slowly, keeping a soft rhythm that started to build up their orgasms.  

After they climaxed, Matt collapsed on top of Jason, breathing heavily and finally rolled out beside him  “I love you too pumpkin, so much”, he said with tender voice, placing his hand over the racing heart of his lover, there was something relieving on saying it out loud, he’d been keeping those words to himself for far too long,  that finally feeling free to tell it was more than he could take and started crying.

“Please, don’t cry… or I’ll end crying too, Matt”, Jason was too honest when he said that, his voice almost broken and blinking to fight back the tears that threatened to be shed anytime soon; Jason put his hand over Matt’s on his chest, holding it softly.

“I know… is just that it feels good to finally say it without fearing someone getting inside the room with a camera, for the first time it’s just you and me “, the both of them smiled at the realization that they were free and they were starting over.

“I don’t know where is all of this going” Matt said, with dreamy voice, and Jason looked at him “we’ve got tonight and tomorrow and the following days to figure it out.”  


_“What was it that we did? I can't remember_

_Only the way you looked at me as you pulled that slide back_

_Your hair wet with rain, your breath freezing in that damp air.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, feel free to give me your opinion.


	8. Part Five, an Epilogue: Because I feel the same for you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An epilogue... after almost a year, many gigs and a whole spin of the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, this is the epilogue to the little ride that you have been going through with me; thanks again for being part of all this and I hope to know a bit more from your opinions now that this is a finished work.

Part 5:  Because I feel just the same for you.  


It had been almost a year from that far, far away night, all those months had been such a twister… lots of work, full bookings and the whole expectation created around the new season that had been broken by the announcement in the #NNNAwards, everything turned to madness, the fans waiting, the full gigs, the beginning of the new Battle of the Seasons tour, that started early in 2016.   Violet was about to give her crown to a new reigning queen and say the goodbyes to that amazing year that gave her so much to be grateful at.

The Austin-Bergstrom International Airport was full of people, some of them departing, some of them arriving and some others waiting to see those faces they were missing, and there, there’s where does this story come to the end, on the arrivals gate of international flights, where a very impatient Violet was tapping her long fingers on a table, making nervous an already anxious Katya, who beat down the moving fingers “please… stop it, you’re making me wish to cut off your fingers bitch”, Violet gave a bitchy smile to Katya, who was sighing deeply, looking at the arrivals screen on the wall.  

Sharon joined them some minutes later, coming back from having a smoke out, bringing with her Ivy and Jinkx, that were having one of those pointless discussions about the comfortability of wedges and stilettos.

Call it coincidence or Fate, the flights they were waiting for were arriving with some minutes of difference, and as far Katya and Violet had been in Texas for a couple of days now, they thought that pick their sisters at the airport shall be nice for one time.  When the arrival screen changed, showing the first landing, Katya almost jumped with excitement, taking the sign written with red lipstick half smeared letters _“PLASTIC WHORE”_ , giving Jinkx the one with black letters that said _“MISS TINY BUTT”_ and handing to Violet the last one with the royal blue letters _“SLEEPY NERDIST”._  


_“And now please come with me let confusion fade away._

_I can't stand waiting. I can't stand waiting.”_

Ivy and Jinkx were holding the sign together, just the way they have been doing almost everything for the last year, even when their bookings had been full, and many of the gigs weren’t coincident, they found a way to keep it going together, as the best friends they had become… as the lovers they were.  Proudly, they wore a couple of beautiful and discreet golden wedding rings, that they exchanged back in november, when they finally figured out that they were not able to be apart.

They were still so in love and so happy to be together, that they had almost forgotten how hard everything turned after that night on the Stage 48, they knew for sure they were meant to be together but they still had to do one more thing.  When Ivy went back to Michigan, she wasn’t alone, Jinkx was there, holding her hand and encouraging her to be brave and give Keith the deserved apologies and closure for their time together… that was such a hard time and by the saying of the both of them, it totally worthed for what they got being together.

A month later, the house in Michigan were put on sale and Ivy moved temporarily to Seattle, where she and Jinkx created the foundation of what a couple of months later, became the Hoffer-Winters Manor in uptown New York.

By the time they were holding the sign on Austin Airport, they hadn’t been at their home for a while, but they were serious to say that home were wherever they were, as far as they were together, keeping each other in their hearts.  When Alaska finally put her long legs out the gate, pulling her luggage, Ivy and Jinkx smiled at her, making her feeling the welcome home warmth that made her heart run real fast.

Dustin and Jerick didn’t know for sure what will destiny’s call be, but they both were sure that they would be able to face anything if they keep holding hands and trusting each other, ‘cause for them, love was about that: support and trust.  


_“And read down inside the deepest_

_Corners of my open soul.”_

After Alaska got strong hugs from Ivy and Jinkx, she stood right in front of Sharon, who looked at her, with that crooked smile of her, they took a couple of steps to each other and got entangled in a tight hug, one that made Alaska felt relief when she realized that it didn’t hurt anymore, it actually was great to hug and be hugged by Sharon, who went back to be her best friend again, her partner in crime, and the person she could trust the most.

That morning, when Courtney caught them together at the hotel room, they showered together, having some sexy and funny time, it was some like the old times when they were together, but this time was better, ‘cause they had grown up and found that gladly, the old bruises had been healed, and there were no need to miss each other, as far as they could be together as friends.

“So… you’re here”, Sharon said to Alaska, who answered with a high pitch on her voice “if you didn’t want me to come to your gig, you should have told it girl… I could be back at Pittsburgh”.

Sharon faked an affected expression and then started laughing when Alaska bursted on laughing at her face, “as told… such a talker, and a cheater”, Alaska said to Sharon and they got embraced again.   

Aaron and Justin just found a way back to each other, but this time, complying the promises they made, they had actually established some kind of routine of texting a couple of times a day, asking for the brutal honesty they always had with each other, and also to share the good things of a day, or just to be weird in a way that no one else could understand.  

They both finally got the missing part of their souls, knowing for sure that they will always love each other, but they were much better being apart and they were in peace with that.  


_“I used to call you my treasure_

_But now you're my new religion”_

Katya started bouncing when she saw Trixie coming through the arrivals gate, she always felt really excited when she was about to meet her again, they managed to find a way to share good quality time, most of it while they were sharing bookings along US and Europe, they still haven’t decided if Katya would move to LA anytime sooner, or if Trixie would move to Boston…

They actually avoided to talk about it, ‘cause it always leaded to a pointless discussion that used to end with one of them wrapped around the other, attempting to convince one another to change their minds.

Trixie was really tired, there was something about the commuting that made her feel tired as hell, she was yawning when her eyes caught a glimpse of her Katya, bouncing and holding that red sign calling for some plastic whore and a wide smile spreading across her lips.  Something in her heart melted almost immediately.

Behind that russian whore character, Brian McCook was actually the kindest person that she had ever met, and he loved his Brian like there were no other human being all over the world that worth more than him and every single thing that could give them a couple of minutes together.

The both of them started jogging, trying to keep themselves calmed, but as soon as they came close, Katya jumped into Trixie’s arms, and gave her a hungry and deep kiss, that were interrupted by Sharon’s raspy voice.

“Excuse me ladies, but if you want to make it to the show tonight without getting jailed, you should stop making out that way”.

“C’mon bitch, I haven’t seen my Bri for three tortuous miserable weeks, let me kiss my man while I can”  Katya answered, making that whiny voice that Trixie loved so much.

Trixie kissed Katya’s forehead , and both of them smiled goofily at each other, maybe they couldn’t find if they wanted to live in Boston or LA, maybe they could spend most of their nights together spooning, like the first time they got official… maybe they were just a complicated set of lovey doveys, but they loved each other with everything they were.

Back in time, in the months that followed the crowning party, they agreed on being low profile about their relationship, but as it’s well known, love and money are the most difficult things to hide, and both of them were maybe the worst liars over the world, so the next morning when everyone was about to say their goodbyes, all their drag queen sisters, actually knew that they were together, and even when Katya tried to deny it, she fell under her own anxiety, and were caught by Max being kissed by Trixie on her room’s door.

They didn’t care a lot of their pointless discussions about the advantages of moving to LA or Boston, or if they were into dog adoption, they were happy with being together and as Katya always said to Trixie when she was about to lose it, “one step a day”.

_“Wherever my love is written_

_For you only you is right to know”_

Violet was almost shaking when Pearl finally came through the arrivals gate, all in black with a grey beanie and her black framed glasses; they locked gazes immediately, like if the gravitational forces of the earth made impossible for the both of them to find each other in less than a second.  

Pearl gave a shy smile, while Violet sighed losing her breath at the time she saw the other queen smiling: Violet always loved that little goofy smile of her.  Pearl just sped up to Violet, even ignoring that “ _Sleepy Nerdist_ ” thing that Violet was holding and as far as she got close to her, ended straight over between the knees of the both of them when they finally hugged tightly.

It has been almost a year since the last time they saw each other out of drag, almost a year since the last time they were that close.  A couple of weeks after the crowning party, all the commitments and bookings were too much, and as much they craved each other, Pearl made the decision of letting Violet go, the last night they shared, there was rage, pain, lust and two broken hearts.

When Violet felt Pearl’s body against hers, couldn’t help to shiver at those last memories of them together, they had the worst discussion they’ve ever had and were getting it solved the only way they understand very well: angry sex.  While Matt was on top of her, Jason saw the hurt on Matt’s eyes, the loneliness and the worst of all the things she had ever seen on those beautiful blue eyes: defeating, so he understood that Matt wouldn’t be able to go through that year without ending attempting to kill them both or to break up in a way worst than Sharon and Alaska’s, and he couldn’t bear that; so she decided to let him go.  

They said their goodbyes with the promise of being faithful to each other as much as they could and to talk about all of that whenever they felt ready to do it.  Pearl was in Mexico City when her cell phone rang, showing Violet’s face on the screen, they didn’t spoke a lot, one single ‘I love you’ and one single ‘I do love you either’ was more than enough to meet at Austin few months later.

“You’re back, Boo”, Violet whispered at Pearl’s ear, all shaky and barely containing all the emotions overwhelming her.

“Gigs apart, it’s been almost a year Pumpkin… we still need to talk” said Pearl, landing her hand over Violet’s lower back.

Few seconds later, Violet broke the embrace just to look straight to Pearl’s eyes, she thought that her memory didn’t pay a fair tribute to the clear beauty of those pale blue eyes, a single tear slid down Violet’s cheek, a single tear that was wiped with the tip of Pearl’s nose, attempting to get out of that tension, she said in a low voice “are we going to take this from where it was the last time, baby?”.

“If we take this from where it stood the last time, honey you’ll have to fuck me on some hidden spot of this airport… and I don’t think that it will go anyway good as we could be caught”, then she greeted Matt with that secret smile, that they both knew as the prelude of a great night of sex.

“Better to take it from the scratch… nice to meet you, I’m Matt, and you are?”  Pearl teased Violet, who changed the sassy smile for an amazed expression, to finally give her a sweet appreciative look and a flattery smile.

“I’m Jason, pleased to meet you and I’m sorry if this is _too_ forward… but you’re really hot”, Violet cupped Pearl’s cheek with one hand, and the both of them started laughing, to finally kiss each other’s lips.

“Ok lovey doveys, time to go back to the hotel, it’s not that I really care, but almost all of you have a gig to perform and entertain my _tiny butt_ and the Plastic Whore’s” Alaska announced, breaking the moment between them “so come on, bring those asses to the parking lot, and get the hell out of here”.

Violet took Pearl’s free hand on hers, and started walking with her, following Ivy and Jinkx to the parking lot, she tightened the grip, making sure that was Pearl’s hand what she was holding, and Pearl looked at her by the corner of her eye “but… we still have to talk”, she remarked.

“However you want boo… I’m _done_ with this let’s give it time, space and some land in between… I’m so  _done_ being away from you”, Violet said making herself a statement.

 

_“Please follow straight the way that will lead you_

_To read me deep inside cause I love you.”_

 

As all the eight of them walked out from the Airport, in a very unique way, they found that one night can change everything not just for being a night, but for being the open door to choose within the comfortable safe side, or to give a leap of faith and start believing in _US,_ instead or Me, You or We.

 

_“I used to call you my treasure_

_But now you're my new religion_

_Because I feel just the same for you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, as I promised, this is the song list I had as an inspiration while I was writing this four pairing story:
> 
> We've got tonite by Bob Seger  
> The Story by Brandi Carlyle  
> In your eyes by Peter Gabriel  
> Just hold me by Maria Mena  
> Sally's song by London After Midnight  
> Take me to church by Hozier  
> Our behaviour by Die my darling  
> Just the same for you by Dope Stars Inc.
> 
> Thanks again for being here until the end, and thanks again to LovelyPlantPrincess for beta reading this story.


End file.
